


Keep All Good Company

by Person



Category: Icewind Dale II Let's Play
Genre: Gen, Post-Canon, yuletide new year's resolution
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-11-12
Updated: 2010-11-12
Packaged: 2017-10-13 04:22:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/132783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Person/pseuds/Person
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A year after their adventure in Icewind Dale, the members of Napalm Company come together once more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Keep All Good Company

Clobberella could have gladly gone the rest of her life without ever setting foot in Luskan again, crime-filled pit that it was. She could hardly believe that a bookish pansy like Kruskrak or a stuck-up windbag like Napalm had actually chosen to settle down there among the crooks and the thugs, although the abundance of harlots on every street corner might partially explain Heronius' decision to stay. For her part, Clobberella had said her goodbyes on the ship then been glad to start making her way out of the city and onto the road back to her monastery the moment it came to a stop in the port and hadn't once looked back or regretted making such a hasty exit. If someone had told her then that she'd be back only a year later she'd have laughed in their face, and then probably elbowed them in the kidney for suggesting such an awful idea.

Yet there she was, brushing off the dust of the road in the entranceway to Kruskrak's library and mostly just feeling glad that Pip hadn't somehow managed to get his way after the flowery letters he'd sent everyone about how even if they'd first met on the ship from Luskan, Targos was where everything had _really_ begun so it was where they should reunite. Luskan looked like Elysium compared to that frozen armpit of the world, and there really wasn't anything that could have convinced her to go there, or to any of the Ten Towns, again.

She heard the footsteps approaching and when she looked up again from dusting herself off Kruskrak was standing before her, looking warily pleased to see her. "I didn't expect you to come here first, Miss Clobberella. Or at all. But it's good to see you again."

A wave of nostalgia washed over her at the sound of his voice, and how annoying she found it. He always had been too damned soft-spoken, which simultaneously made it easier to ignore him and gave her the strong urge to kick him in the crotch until she jarred loose whatever it was that kept his balls from dropping. "Don't start getting too mushy about it, Sally. I just looked at the options and decided it would be _slightly_ less annoying to be alone with you until we got to Napalm's place than it would to get stuck with him until you and Pip showed up. Not to mention less likely to turn into a game of 'Dodge the Fireball'." He sighed and she rolled her eyes at him, then stepped toward him with an arm stretched out. "Get over here, you idiot. It isn't half-bad to see you either," she said, and firmly clasped his hand and shoulder.

"Did you want to go straight to Mr. Napalm's house, or would you like me to show you around the library first?" he asked, sounding like he already knew what the answer would be.

"When have I ever wanted to watch you ogle books?" she asked, but then her lips quirked slightly. "But if you've got anything around here you think is actually worth seeing, it's not like it'll kill me to hang around for a few minutes."

* * *

He took the hint and kept the tour short, though longer than 'a few minutes'. Clobberella could admit that it was impressive what he'd managed to get done in only a year, though with the boatloads of cash they'd each gotten out of their adventure together it wasn't like he couldn't pay whatever it took to get the place built, furnished, and stuffed to the brim with horribly dull books in next to no time. And as far as it went books were probably a good thing to invest in if he didn't want the thieves of Luskan harassing him. Since the library was open to the public the random thieves of the city would probably assume that it couldn't contain any rare books worth stealing--what type of idiot would put something pricey out where anyone could grab it in _Luskan_?--so as long as the Arcane Brotherhood didn't take an interest in his collection he was probably safe.

Which was more than she would expect for _some_ people.

"What the hell was that idiot _thinking_?" she asked Kruskrak, gawking up at the gaudy-looking house he'd lead her to. "He must need to fight off thieves constantly."

"You know Mr. Napalm. If there's anyone who could turn an entire city against himself with one action..."

"...I see your point." Kruskrak raised his hand to knock on the door, but Clobberella pushed it open before he had a chance to. Heronius had lead them all traipsing uninvited through enough random houses to start bitching about them making themselves at home in his.

She expected the faint hiss that she heard when the door swung fully open and stepped neatly backward, her talent for dodging Napalm's bullshit not at all diminished even after a year of going unused, and then stared disbelieving at the noxious green clouds that billowed out of the door. "Poison? Gods, our adventure must have messed me up worse than I knew, because I'm actually disappointed that it's not fire."

"It would have been, if you'd come to visit while the house was still new. Believe it or not, after the first few break-ins he finally learned his lesson about setting off fireballs indoors, at least when it's his own possessions getting burnt."

"I'm surprised that he didn't like his furniture having that charred look. He could have impressed Pip with how well everything in the house went together, or some crap like that."

She was interrupted before she could go any further into her thoughts on idiots home decorating by Napalm storming down the stairs towards them. "What in the blazing hells do you fools think you're doing, barging in like this?"

"Great to see you again too, Heronius," Clobberella said dryly, barging in further as the poisonous clouds cleared to make herself at home on a comfortable-looking chair. "And in case you've forgotten, _you're_ the one who volunteered your home for this little reunion, so don't start whining that we took you up on it."

"Pish tosh. Just because I was kind enough to allow you into my home instead of letting you drag me to some cheap tavern--"

"Just because he took the chance to try showing off to us is more like it," Clobberella cut in with a stage whisper to Kruskrak.

Napalm's customary frown grew a little deeper, but aside from that he continued on without giving any sign that he'd heard the jibe, "--it doesn't mean that I was inviting you to walk in unannounced a good quarter-of-an-hour before you were meant to arrive. I might have been using these last few minutes to entertain more pleasant company to brace myself for this little horrorshow coming together again."

"Please," Clobberella said, pulling off her boots and flexing her travel-worn feet. "Even you're not a disgusting enough pig to bring in a whore when you knew we could get here at any minute." She paused briefly, then raised an eyebrow with a smirk. "And if you _were_ that disgusting... really, Napalm? Fifteen minutes and you'd been cleaned up and ready to meet us? No wonder you can only get women into your bed by paying them."

"Sexual tension free zone!" Kruskrak broke in, quickly stepping between them. "At least wait until Pip gets here so I'll have something to do besides standing here watching you two."

"Geeze, you girl," Clobberella said with a snort, pulling a face. "This isn't flirting, it's mocking. Learn the difference."

"Really, old bean, I could have done without that mental image," Napalm agreed, looking similarly unimpressed.

"Then it shouldn't be a difficult request to follow," Kruskrak said, but not very loudly, and both predictably went back to ignoring him.

"Did you get any food ready for us?" Clobberella asked Napalm. "I haven't had anything but travel food for days on the road here."

"I'm not your bloody servant, woman. The city has more than enough restaurants for you to have found one before coming here."

"Oh, _of course_. I don't know why I even thought for a second that you might be a decent host." Clobberella hopped back to her feet and made a beeline for a hall leading further back into the house. "The kitchen's gotta be this way, right? I'm raiding your cupboards, Heronius, don't even try stopping me; this is your own fault for not getting snacks."

"I'd almost forgotten how maddening that woman is," Napalm said, scowling after her, but he perked up slightly only a moment later. "Still, she hasn't resorted to violence yet. Perhaps there's some hope of her becoming civilized yet."

"...Please don't try to draw me into your bickering, Mr. Napalm."

Clobberella returned to the room with a sloppily thrown together sandwich almost at the same moment the knocking began at the door, tapping out a light rhythm that it quickly became obvious was going to continue until someone answered it. Or, knowing the person doubtlessly behind him, quite likely until he'd finished whatever tune he was trying to beat out regardless of whether or not someone opened the door in the middle of it.

"It's open, Pip," Clobberella called out around a mouthful of sandwich.

" _Wait_ a moment, Pip," Napalm said almost on top of her words, moving more quickly than they usually saw him bother with to reach the door before Pip could start trying to come in if it was Clobberella's invitation he chose to follow. "Unless you'd _rather_ the room fill with poisonous gas again while we're all standing in it," he hissed back at Clobberella over Pip's continued knocking, while his hands traced out a few graceful symbols in the air to disable whatever spell he had connected to the door's opening.

"Hi again, fellows!" Pip said with his customary cheeriness the moment Napalm let him in, beaming at all of them brightly. "Hope you don't mind, 'Ronius, but I brought a little surprise to the shindig. Look what _I_ found everybody!" He reached off to the side of the doorway, out of their sight, but just as they were bracing themselves for something flashy and ridiculous the door was instead filled by over six feet of shaggy fighter.

" _Urggzob?_ " Clobberella exclaimed. "Where the hell did you come from?"

Heronius and Kruskrak were making similar comments while she spoke. None of them had expected Urggzob to make it that day. None of them had even _heard_ from him in that entire past year. They had tried finding him when they'd decided to go along with the reunion idea after Pip first raised it in a series of letters, but the search had turned out to be fruitless. Here and there were rumors were rumors of an incredible fighter slicing his way across the countryside, but the sightings zig-zagged wildly across the continent with no apparent pattern between them to hint at where he might pop up next.

"I _know_ , right?" Pip told them. "I could hardly believe it when I saw him either! I stopped in Evereska on my way here, and when I was looking for a place to play for the night there he was! I don't even know how he got there--"

"Urggzob CRUSH his way to puny elf city! Crushing is only way to travel!"

"That's not really..." Kruskrak began then trailed off, his forehead wrinkling as he closed his eyes tightly. "No, I know better. I don't want to get into this one."

"Hah! The little man knows Urggzob speaks _truth_!"

"...Yes, that's exactly what I meant Urggzob."

"Anyways, I told Urggzy about the reunion and he came with me the rest of the way here, just like old times! Except that I never got to be in my special purple fun bubble when fights started."

"I'm frankly amazed that you made it here in one piece without it," Napalm told him.

"I hate to say it, but I'm with the asshole," Clobberella said. "With the way Urggzob draws fights, how in the world did you survive the trip here?"

"Urggzob would not let squishy weaklings hurt the little girl. All who try learn what it means to be crushed!"

"I hid behind Urggzob when things got scary," Pip translated for them.

"Urggzob is ten bodyguards!"

"You know, that one's probably actually correct," Kruskrak said thoughtfully. "If we take it as being the equivalent to."

No one paid any attention to him, but he couldn't have especially expected them to.

Pip was getting more attention, as he moved on to a new subject. "I hope you don't feel like I'm horning in on your hostliness, 'Ronius, but I've got hors d'oeuvres! I really hoped I could introduce you all to Vicki tonight, but since she was too busy to come we decided that at least I could introduce you to her cooking, I swear it's _divine_."

" _I_ swear I'm going to keep believing 'Vicki' is short for 'Victor' until I have proof I'm wrong, I don't care what pronouns he uses," Clobberella muttered under her breath, to nods all around.

In response to Pip, Napalm flatly said, "Lovely. You've brought food that you've been carrying about for... how many weeks now?"

"Hey, hey, hey, I'm not a totally silly-head guys. I brought plenty of food preservation powder with me to make sure it all stayed as scrumptious as the day she made it." He produced a bag of holding and began pulling packages of food that, sure enough, looked delicious when he opened them up though still no one seemed eager to dig into food that had _needed_ preservation power to keep from rotting.

Finally Clobberella rolled her eyes and stepped forward. " _Fine_ , you sissies. I know you're all just going to try foisting this off on me anyway, like everything else you're too wimpy to try on your own, and I'm still starving anyway." She reached out and grabbed a handful of some type of tiny pastry balls to start.

"Easy there, Clobby," Pip told her when she popped four in her mouth at once. "You can't just pig out if you want to keep looking that fabulous in those new pants of yours."

She glared at him but waited until she'd swallowed her mouthful before snapping back, "I'd be willing to bet I get more exercise before breakfast than you do all day. I think I'm safe. And so are these, everyone."

As everyone else gathered around the munchies, Kruskrak glanced at her. "I'm surprised you let him get away with calling you 'Clobby', Miss Clobberella," he told her.

She shrugged, pressing her lips together into a thin tight line, then curtly said, "You never know what's going to happen. Bickering over a nickname is a crappy last conversation to have, if we somehow end up never talking again."

"Ah, that reminds me," Napalm said, making it obvious that he'd been listening in on them. "If you'll excuse me for a moment Gentlemen, and Clobberella, I need to get a few things." He opened a door in the corner of the room revealing a set of stairs leading downwards, and started downwards.

"You know," Clobberella said quietly, once he was definitely too far away to overhear her, "if we close the door behind him and prop a chair up under the knob this night'll probably be a lot more fun."

Kruskrak, at least, looked thoughtful for a moment, but he quickly shook it off. "He'd only burn down the door, and then try to force us all to pay for damages."

Clobberella sighed, and let go of the idea. "Oh well. It wouldn't be a proper reunion without that idiot around to fight with anyway." To pass the time she walked over to Urggzob and said, "Okay, I know I'm gonna regret asking this but the curiosity will kill me if I don't ask: are you still carrying that... _Mittens_ around?"

He beamed down at her like he was the world's proudest papa and she'd just asked about his child. "Of course! Mittens is the best good luck cat the world has known. See the wealth of crushings which have come to Urggzob since finding him!" As he spoke he pulled the dead cat in question out of his bag, amazingly still looking exactly the way it had been the day he'd first found it.

"Gods," Clobberella said, looking at it, "not even the eyes have rotted out yet. How the hell does that even work?"

"Mittens is too lucky for rotten eyes!"

"Guys!" Pip yelped when he noticed what they were doing, "No dead things over the food, okay? That's _so_ unhealthy."

Before Urggzob could decide whether to feel insulted for Mitten's sake Napalm reentered the room, now awkwardly carrying a bottle of wine and five glasses. "Here we are, everyone."

Clobberella raised an eyebrow at his armful of cups. "You keep your wineglasses in the basement?"

"It makes for a shorter trip between getting the bottle and getting the drink." He set the glasses down and began working on the bottle's cork. "Here Gentlemen, and Clobberella, we have the finest vintage in my wine cellar, which is full of only the finest wines. Today seemed a good occasion to open it." He filled the glasses and waited for them each to take one, then raised him. "To Napalm Company, both those here and those... absent. Cheers."

Clobberella reached up to touch the pale stone she still wore at her neck, and decided to allow the name to slide for once. "To us."

Pip, who'd been smiling ever since he arrived now looked suspiciously wobbly-lipped and watery-eyed as he raised his glass, "To Marty. Really, guys, you don't need to pretend you're all tough and unfeeling and that isn't what you really mean."

"Yes, to Marty," Kruskrak echoed, winning an easily-given approving look from Pip and a rare one from Clobberella.

"Urggzob's lucky little friend is where he can crush all our enemies again forever! Drink for that!"

Clobberella laughed and nodded, "Fine, Urggzob, to crushing too."

They drank. The wine really was fine.

Heronius was the first to finish his glass. For a man who made himself out to be a wine connoisseur he didn't seem at all interested in savoring it, instead throwing back his glass like it was a shot of cheap whiskey. "There, all feeling reunited? Jolly good, now you can all get out of my home and return to leaving me alone."

"For fuck's sake, Heronius," Clobberella said, putting down her glass with a sharp clink, just barely holding back her strength enough not to shatter it by slamming it onto the table, "would it really have killed you to keep pretending you have a heart for five whole minutes?"

"It's all right, Miss Clobberella," Kruskrak said, raising his hands and stepping between them, trying to keep the peace. "I'd be happy to have you all over at my library."

"Haha! The little man has gotten funnier since Urggzob last saw him!" Urggzob rumbled. "Good joke!"

"Yeah, _good joke_. We're not spending our night in a library." Clobberella turned her glare back to Napalm, her hand curling into a fist that he unconsciously flinched away from. "We're not leaving, you ass. If you wanted to get rid of us after one drink you should have just let us 'drag you to some cheap tavern' instead of inviting us over."

"We could still change to the cheap tavern too..." Kruskrak offered, but he kept his voice lower and stayed back now, not even expecting them to hear him.

"Aw, don't get too upset, Krusky," Pip said, patting him on the shoulder. "Can't you tell 'Ronius is just trying to keep us from getting all sniffly from thinking about Marty?"

Kruskrak frowned faintly at him. "Pip... I do like thinking the best of people, but why would you ever believe that?"

"Isn't it totally obvious? 'Ronius would have brought up his cheapest wine if he didn't secretly really, really, care! And look how much happier he and Clobby look now that they're back to bickering!" Pip sighed dreamily and smiled at the two of them as they went on arguing their way across the room. "I wish _I_ could get that much passion out of him."

"Please... don't say things like that about the two of them. Or about yourself and Mr. Napalm, for that matter," Kruskrak told him. But for all that the idea of any type of flirtation taking part between the other members of Napalm company disturbed him terribly, as he watched the others he could see what Pip had meant. It was there in the way an especially clever barb from Napalm made Clobberella's lips curve into a brief, bright, smile before she realized what she was doing and got her face under control again, and in how Napalm only gave Urggzob a sneer instead of setting him on fire when he grabbed what was left of the wine and chugged it straight from the bottle.

And, really, they all were who they were. To expect their reunion to be anything other than rampant squabbling, and sarcasm, and at least one person probably ending up in serious pain before the end of the night would just be naive. But if it had gone any other way it would also have been terribly disappointing; what would have been the point of reuniting if they'd all acted awkward, and formal, and pretended that their personalities didn't all grate against each others like sandpaper?

This was what they'd all been missing in some bizarre way, enough to all come together again. So they might as well enjoy it while it lasted.


End file.
